Wednesday, July 25, 2007


So much for my final post in Wales. I got so caught up by the last 2 weeks, i just had no time to actually sit down. Plus the fact that i was void of a house let alone an internet connection. Well i may have said this before, but it was the 2 best years of my life. And now i have to face the fact that i am no longer a student. and freedom of student life has now left me. I am already working temporarily and i can feel teh difference, u feel obliged to your responsibility to yourself and stop going out too late, u sacrifice meeting your friends to come home ealrly to get some sleep or because u think your time is better spent at home with the family. i dunno, i seriously dunno what it is.

am i running away from who iused to be, or am i just a tamer version of msyelf? i mean i aint the same person completely, i have changed, hell we all change, but we dont completely change, we grow up right? heh. funny how with every answer u get, more questions arise.

All in All, here is to the friends and foe si have made back in Wales, some of you will be cherished, some of you will be loved, some of you will be considered annoyance but all in all your all not forgotten. so Thank you all of you who know who you are.

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
Dale Carnegie

Friday, July 06, 2007

What now?

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
Alan Kay

Firstly, yes! I am graduating. And i am happy!

Now, with this news, the natural set of questions that accompany such information is "So what are you gonna do now?" and i will say here what I tell everyone, "i'll figure something out, planning on doing something else, see what i can explore" or something to that extent.

Now, I would like to thank my family and some of my closest friends for being there when i was always ind oubt and for keeping my head firmly on my shoulders.

2 yrs here in the UK and i will definitely say that these past 2 years have indeed been the most memorable ever, i am hoping that this wont b ethe only HIGH i get, but a beginiing of something more.

So as i end one chapter here , i can only hope and imagine of beginning and inventing a whole new level of challenges and experiences to look forward to.

I cantw ait to be home with my nephew and family and see where life takes me. this is just a filler post a i will post a more substantive one lcoser to the date of my departure. i will update on Graduation over here.


Monday, May 21, 2007


Well, its been ages since this blog has been updated, exams and stuff you know! heh

Over the past few months, 8 to be exact something which has been deemed " a worldwide phenomenon", " the most exciting and well written tv experiences this decade" TV epic known as Heroes has graced our TV of for me and countless other worldwide viewers, our computer monitors.

I guess i feel like writing about this show, trying to gain some insight into this series. Over the years, many broadcasters have tried to emulate the success, intrigue, and mystery of series such as Lost, a hit for ABC also deemed to be the one of the best shows on tv today. And i believe, as well as many others that NBC has found this in Heroes. Dont get me wrong, i know there are some skeptics that dont buy into these superhero crap like xmen and all this science fiction fantasy based stories, with the exception of the X-Files, which i still think is the landmark.

Why is Heroes so good and in my opinion far better then Lost and other shows. I think primarily because despite its fantastical story elements and such, it is highly grounded in realism, ironic isnt it, a show about highly evolved humans that is real? Well, when i say real i mean in relation to its characters, the decisions and the exploration of the notion of right and wrong and how mainly, there is no right answer to what we all do in life.

Juxtapose the normal superhero scenario as well as more the whole good vs evil. Here, u have the bad guys vs the bad guys, and its clearly stated in the beginning, but you will have one character for example like Wolverine, or Locke who are somewhat ambigous, meaning that they are sometimes inclined to do things because it benefits them but ultimately they succumb the will of the good for example. yeah, most action films, dramas have that scenario and we know what to expect, in terms of character and so on.

However, with Heroes, almost every single character is stuck within this gray area, the responsibilities of a normal individual who wakes up to find themselves bestowed with awesome gifts. the best character that i can use to illustrate this would be the character of Nathan Petrelli, to fans who would know him as a character who we never know what to expect from him, almost in every scene he shows us a side of him that makes us rethink and reevaluate him as a person. He really feels the need to do good, but at what cost? How does he balance his political ambitions with that of obligations to his family, and even so, whithin his won family, he has the crippled wife to whom he is responsible for in a way, the doting mother who only wants whats "best for him and his brother, who looks up to him and needs his support and strength to stop the impending doom. I wont go into spoilers here, no point, no one reads this anyways, ahaha so i will just say that as the season c0mes to its close, we never really know what Nathan is going to do. I for one, as a viewer and audience, understand and appreciate the complexities and conflicts that he feels. And i say this not only for Peter, but for every character. Jessica/Nikki is also a fine example, everything she has ever done, in her eys is for the benefit of her family, mainly her son, but it is pretty much clear that the stuff she has done is very very wrong and evil, but on one level we see that we cant really balme her on one level for the stuff that she has done but on another level it would be wrong to do anything but despise her.

And this realism relates to every aspect, friendships, relationships, self realisation, and many more. Another thing that makes this a good show is the writing in relation to the overall story arc, the writers and producers have taken extreme car in esnuring that questions posed early on in the season will be answered gradually, and for a show that deals with a large character base, it sets itself apart from Lost in my opinion by maintaining a very good balance, ther eis no clear HERO n Heroes, some may say it is Hiro, some may say it is Peter, some have even gone so far to say that Sylar himself, which by the way i think is one of the coolest Villains out there in TV land right now as the hero of the series, it never detracts from the main story of the show, where as if compared to Lost i believe that the writers tehre have written themselves into confusion, by coming with really novel and interesting ideas at the outset but without really following through and leading it back to the story arc.

Apart from that, u have your superpowers, moive like one hour shows, and brilliant production design, maintaining its very dark and gray overtones trhough the show such as CSI Las Vegas and its neon colored as well as dark grey shadings in relation to the theme and context of the series.

I guess u could say that i write this as a welcomed distraction form y exams this friday or just to keep myself occupied while i wait till the season finale of Heroes is on fanpop. Either way, i suggest that if any of you have the time, check it out, and if ur already part of the fanbase, enjoy the finale, and if by the looks of it, it is planting a very interesting story for the second.

now, i have got a world to save.... my own. heh

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Is this it???

"Next stop... "

"Do i get off here, or is this not it?"

"Pretty sure this is the one..."

"But there is no one there, its empty!"

"Sometimes there never is, but that doesnt mean that no one will come."

"But if this was my stop, there should be someone... at least SOMEONE!??"

"Don't get off then, your choice"

"But how do i know if this IS the next stop? i could be getting off the wrong one..."

"Sometimes, the only way to get to the right path is by taking the wrong turn, things arent always as starightford as they seem... "

think about it



The sun shines in mine eyes,
Through my fingers i see your a shadow,
how could you be in that disguise,
I never that you were this hollow,

This guise you take belies me,
This guise you take cripples,
It took this long for me to see,
And now the blood inside of me ripples,

Part and Part you say you are,
I doubt that you dont even know,
And how you wish upon a star,
That maybe some part of you will be, tomorrow...

These words I hear speak of Gravity,
How i wish it would bring you down,
Please come to some sense and sensibility,
For I only wish to give you my Crown,

This Ode to you i read,
Dont let it fall on deaf ears,
For my soul will bleed,
And my heart will shed its tears...

This Ode to you i read

Monday, March 26, 2007


3:39 am

dont know why...
but i have this nagging urge to fly,

dont know why...
I sit and feel the time pass me by,

dont know why...
but i tell myself not to cry...

3:41 am

Well, its been ages since my last post, i guess been to pre-occupied to actually post something, maybe i have had nothing to say, i guess until now.

My tenure here in Cardiff is only a few months till its end, a part of me wishes i could stay, while another part wants to leave, and start a new chapter, i dont know whats in store for me these next few months and after, but insyaAllah i believe that there is something, akin to the picture i posted above. That strain of light alond the darkness...

cliche'd, i know but pardon me...

I am glad to say that new friendships have been formed, new lessons learned, and i am one step closer, though how close i don't know, to finding out who i am, the things i stand for, what i am looking for...

But as i sit here and listen to Moonlight, i know that there is that glimmer, that feeling of posibilities and answers, to questions that i dont even know...

I miss them, i love them...

See you soon...

till then,


Thursday, March 01, 2007

The Gig @ Sheffield

Hi all, in a weeks time, Apocalypse Kaw Kaw with its new line-up will make its debut live performance to the WORLLD!!! well, in Sheffield la, hehehhe. so y eah, come one come all, rock on!

Friday, December 15, 2006

soalan cepumas

"No I am not the man i used to be lately..."

well lets see whether i can write some substantial stuff in this entry.

Its been two months or maybe slightly more than that since i came back for my third and final year.

I must say that its been an interesting year. Interestingly enough, i met a whole lot of different people. and experienced a whole lot more than my two years here combined. and i am glad for that.

It all has led me to think about my life, and what i want out of it. and i am slowly figuring it out.

"you met me at an interesting time..."

relationship talks have been somewhat of a cliche, but hey, sometimes we cant run away from them can we? What do you want in a relationship? figure that out yet? Are girls all that they seem to be, or is there this whole other side that we are just not seeing? or so we think...

"if my past is a sign of your future, you should be warned before i let you inside..."

Are we judged by our mistakes or by our triumphs? Do we live up to our expectations or the expectations of others? is it ever enough... can we change by learning from our past, or are they meaningless rhetoric musings of our tainted present?

"hold on to whatever you find baby, i dont trust myself with loving you..."

i dont.

p/s: This is to 2007, insyaAllah, it will be good.