I'm mature or immature?

picture by Sebastian Homer : "Maturity"

"A mature person is one who is does not think only in absolutes, who is able to be objective even when deeply stirred emotionally, who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people and all things, and who walks humbly and deals charitably”
Eleanor Roosevelt


Objectivity and Maturity often come into play when we are faced with emotinally driven situations in our lives. The thing is, i must admit that its sometimes hard to be objective when u feel hurt/crossed/ whatever but like the above quote mentions, we must recognise that its part of human nature for everyone to have a dark side or something about them that annoys you. In my opinion, it is the acceptance of this dark side that makes us mature, in a way to understand that everyone views things differently and takes things differently.

I have been guilty of not being objetcive and being immature when handling certain things thrown my way, i am sure we all have but the thing is that i have come to realise is that being immature about things do not get you anywhere.

The question to ask now then is how the hell do we become mature?

Hell if i know....

They say age doesnt reflect maturity, but i must say that to an extent it does, i am 20 now, and i can safely say that i am different than the 18 yr old version of me. I guess its easier to say that because when your younger your not as mature as someone who is older, but i think maturity is determined or obtained based on the level of experiences we face. I mean , maturity is part of an individual's learning curve, and in life we generally learn things through the mistakes we make, people we meet, and also experiences faced, from all of these things is where maturity stems from. Disagree with me if you think i am wrong.

But there is a flipside to this argument, sometimes it is those very same experiences that i mentioned above that will dampen the growth of our maturity rather than make us mature. This boils down to the individual itself i think, some poeple just dont learn and remain ignorant to the fact that they should appreciate the consequences of their actions and the experiences faced by them.

At the end of the day, i guess you cant really say or determine what it is exactly that would render us mature individuals, it is something that we will just have to ask ourselves constantly....

are we really all that mature?

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
Dave Barry (1947 - )

Faith, or is it?

Living with the faithful who are faithless,

The Hypocrisy of Man on Earth oblivious,

Through the land, sea, Sun and the Moon,

They sit there wrapped in a Cacoon,

In this Universe with its origin Unknown,

They wait for it to be shown,

Take me to those places,

I want to see their faces.....


Snow Falls,

Water,

Air Rises,

Water,

Tears,

Water...


Are we living in a world worth living?

Or a world where to live, would be worth dying?

Should we strive to live, or leave?

What must happen for us to Believe?

Must we trust what our eyes perceive?

Or just sit here willingly deceived?

Looking Back: Part 2

A weak man has doubts before a decision, a strong man has them afterwards.
Karl Kraus (1874 - 1936)


Would you, if given the chance, change/alter every or some decisions that you have made in the past?

Think about it....

Looking Back : Part 1

Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him.
Aldous Huxley (1894 - 1963), "Texts and Pretexts", 1932


its been almost 8 months since i have left home to come abroad to study. Then, before i came i decided that one of the ways in which i would find myself would be by leaving home and coming here to experience new things and meet new people and decide for myself as to what kind of person i wanna be. Those of you who read this and who already know who i am would most likely know that i associated the events leading up to my arrival here in CF as the catalyst of change for my being who i am today.

i still believe that....

the question know is what have i learned in this eight months or so, as i move into revision and prepare for my exams i think its best for me to look and see whether in this time i have become who i wanted to be when i first came here or have i strayed from that goal.

to be honest i didnt know exactly what i wanted to be like, all i knew was that i hoped to be the best i could be at this stage, learn as much as i can, and just live life to the full.

so far, i have tried a new sport and found that i think i am rather good at it. in playing this sport and being a part of this team i felt that i have achieved something that i have rather longed for my whole life, to be a part of a proper team and be appreciated. the level of commitment and dedication, and friendship that i have experienced here would be invaluable to me in the future. I have learnt to come out of my shell at appropriate times and learnt to be confident with who i am. Confidence and belief in yourself is something that is imperative in every individual to be successful in every aspect of ones life, be it education, social, business, everything. and this is one of the more important experiences i have experienced so far and will continue to cherish it. Going back to my point of self confidence and belief, this is important for the mental health of an individual as well. I have heard and seen people who live in self doubt and are depressed at dangerous levels that often lead them into doing things that are bad for themselves and the people around them. thats one thing i know for sure i have understood.

Secondly, i have come to understand that no matter how hard it is, never fall victim to first impressions. I know its the first impression that counts, but also consider the second, third and consecutive impressions people give. in a way, everytime u see someone its a first impresison. one day yous ee them and think one thing, the next day u see them and u think something else. Talk to them, listen, then judge. Like i have mentioned in previous publications, we often get too caught up in the moment and think " oh, we gonna be friends forever", or "he/she aint that bad" only to be sad when these people fall short of our expectations. Along with this, i have also considered the issue of relationships. I mean, who wouldnt wanna be in a relationship wouldnt they? but i have come to accept the fact that when i do go into a relationship it will have to be with someone i can truly relate to, respect and admire. for if i dont respect them, then no point.

end of part 1

Dumb and Dumber

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
-Unknown-

Whoever came up with the above quote is a smart man. Yeah, a smart man, although it may seem ironic that i talk about the topic of stupidity with the words of an "unknown". For all we know, he could be stupid instead of smart right?

The point is that no one is ever truly brilliant or smart or intellectual. We all are stupid. But it is about the people who abuse this privelege of stupidty is what i am concerned with. it is rather obvious that we all were not born with instant knowledge of things, we had to work and learn to get that certain degree of "smart-ness". The thing that annoys me most is the existence of people who are ignorant and oblivious to this fact. They act as though they know everything when in truth they dont really know that much and it is because of this they talk, act all with authority assuming that they are right and that they can never be wrong. And u have the equally dumb people surrounding them and echoing their snetiments which only fuels their " i know what i am talking about"/ "god-complex" attitude.

And this leads on to another irritating thing, insolence....

because of their god-like behaviour they end up being insolent, impertinent or in simple terms, rude.

And the best part is, tese people often mislead themselves into thinking that they are never wrong, and it is the other people that are rude to them.

Hence, what i am trying to say is, never let your lack of knowledge lead you to moments where you may directly/indiretcly offend someone, or get a bad first impression and stuff like that. if you dont know about stuff, ask or read, or watch tv, or do something. BUT dont ever be ignprnat of the fact that there are alot of things out there that we dont know and are unsure of, dont jump to assumptions and make conclusions based on the lack of information or knowledge.

It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.
William G. McAdoo (1863 - 1941)

p/s: this is in no way attributed to anyone i know, these opinions are mainly based on observations and so on. and i am also in no way saying that i am smart as well *refer above quote* =]

desire? committment?

If you greatly desire something, have the guts to stake everything on obtaining it.
Brendan Francis

Commitment. Desire. Most often the meaning or usage of these two words are intertwined or used together. Its understandable, i mean how can u have commitment without desire or vice versa?

The past few weeks i have been involved in something that required alot of commitment. Endless nights of practice, rehearsals, meetings, and so on.

Today, i asked a friend to give me a topic and he mentioned commitment. Hence i thought the experience i have been through the past weeks may help in this blog.

In my opinion, the key to having a solid commitment is DESIRE, hence the quote given above. Almost every aspect of our lives are in some way governed by a need, a desire, the intention, or passion to do something. Be it in love, work, or anything, if its without desire, its gonna be tough.

Lets go back a while, think about the older days when wars were fought. The one thing that kept soldier alive, was desire, and it is that desire that drove theri commitment towards their cause. understand what i am saying?

Anyway, i am moving away from my point. As i mentioned, i was involved in something that required the commitment of many individuals. I have to be honest with you, even i wasn't that confident with this project and did not show the commitment or dedication needed for the project. However, after seeing the Directors of the project sacrifice their time,money, and almost everything to ensure the success of the event I couldn't help but feel compelled to do the same. And since then, the desire to prove myself worthy of the job chosen for me and to work together with everyone is what i thought led to me committing myelf to this project.

In my opinion, the event turned out to be a success, all because of committment. For example, an individual known as WK contirbuted immensely to the project and it was good to see him smile after the event, everyone loved it and the faces of the people involved were all filled with content, and pure happiness. I mean the feeling to me cannot be described, it was simple euphoria.

Going back to the quote above, it just goes to show, if you want something hard enough.. u wnat to accomplish something.. you just have to do it with that desire... this desire would lead to a greater committment alongside the other reasons for you doing something.

But....

sometimes... we often overlook other things when we let desire get the better of ourselves. Desire is good, but sometimes when you are pursuing something that will gain you power, that desire of power often leads us astray. Hence, it is important to keep our integrity.

Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not.
Oprah Winfrey (1954 - ), in Good Housekeeping

Some people are wiling to lose everything in order to gain everything. one thing you shouldnt lose is your integrity....

think about it..

Think about it

THIS PUTS OUR WORLD INTO PERSPECTIVE.

If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following:There would be:

57 Asians21 Europeans14 from the Western Hemisphere, north and south8 Africans52 would be female48 would be male70 would be nonwhite30 would be white70 would be non-Christian30 would be Christian6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth and all 6 would be from the United States.80 would live in substandard housing70 would be unable to read50 would suffer from malnutrition1 would be near death; 1 would be near birth, 1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education,1 would own a computerWhen one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for acceptance, understanding and education becomes glaringly apparent.The following is also something to ponder...

1. If you woke up this morning with more health than illness...you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.2. If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation...you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.3. If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death...you are more blessed than three billion people in the world.4. If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep... youare richer than 75% of this world!5. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace .. you are among the top 8% of the worlds wealthy.6. If your parents are still alive and still married, you are very rare, even in the United States and Canada.

Cult-ure?

Gothic: Of or pertaining to a literary style of fiction prevalent in the late 18th and early 19th centuries which emphasized the grotesque, mysterious, and desolate: a gothic novel. [This is the relevant definition in the dictionary. Think of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and the works of Edgar Allen Poe.]

But what does gothic mean in regards to the group of people? Here's where it gets confusing. There are things that many Goths like that are not gothic (Industrial or Classical music). There are things that are gothic that many Goths dislike (vampires, interest in death). There are things that some people think are gothic that are not gothic (bands like Marilyn Manson and Nine Inch Nails), and there are things that do not call themselves gothic even if they are considered gothic by most people (bands like Sisters of Mercy and Dead Can Dance). However, there's no Grand Gothic Judge to decree what is truly Goth and what is not, although there are plenty of people who claim to be it. It's an ambiguous label with many people using it that don't understand what it means. The people who do understand it often have many different definitions.

this is taken from http://www.darkwaver.com/subculture/

now, after watching a concert lats night, which i must say was an alright one *comments on that will be done at a later date* i couldnt help but notice people between the age of 14-50 walking around in "Goth-like" outfits or styles. Reading the description above, it clearly says that sometimes there are misconceptions and misinterpretations of what goth really is.

The sad thing is, that i see individuals who succumb to societal expecttaions, or in this case a misntepretation of what society perceives Goth to be, firstly, the cocnert i went to certainly doenst warrant goth-like appearnces, Hell, even the bands that played didnt dress that way.... so one cannot blame the music and the musicians.

it is clear that its the people, a friend pointed out to me this old man who looked like he was a 105 walking around with the black t-shirt jeans look and piercings and accessories that would look better on a dog and the both of us (friend and i) couldnt help but wonder why people do this. It is one thing to be a part of a culture, i am all for that but one thing that we have to understand is if to have one culture intertwined with another that particular person or gropus of people thinks its all the same thing. Like GOTH culture and MODERN ROCK dont mix, like the description above said. somethings that are thought to be goth are not, and somethings thought NOT to be goth ARE Goth.

The same goes for hip hop, a culture that was started by the African-Americans, the history and culture of Hip-Hop stemmed from way back in the 70's where theAfrican-Americans were in need for their voices to be heard and where they needed an identity some can argue... Hip-Hop doenst only mean RAP, its funk, motown blues, james, from James Brown all the way to 50 Cent. Nowadays, people often come to the cocnlusion that if hey wre to wear hip hop fashion, they are no win the hip hop culture...

sad...

be proud of your own culture... we dont have to immerse ourselves into other cultures when WE do not even appreciate OUR OWN cultures. that will only lead to false-hoods and not being true to ourselves.

Appreciate the other cultures, but you dont have to live it...... get what i mean?

the history of Hip-Hop can be read at http://www.daveyd.com/raptitle.html

Love Actually?

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
Robert Frost (1874 - 1963)

I wouldnt call what i have experienced so far as LOVE, well, maybe once... but thats a story for another time.

What is it about the opposite sex that renders one un-intelligent, naive, and so caught up in the illusion of lust and love that we often forget NOT to have any expectations cause generally our expectations will never be met. It is like going into a movie thinking and hoping it will be great only to leave the cinema feeling like you just wasted a good portion of your day of life dedicating it to utter rubbish.

hahaha

now please understand that i am not talking about LOVE per se, but the illusion of it; some of us may think.... or usually in my case, I think too much and often get caught up as i mentioned above in the illusion or expectataion that i am loved when the sad, awful truth sometimes is that i am not.

I believe love is primarily a choice and only sometimes a feeling. If you want to feel love, choose to love and be patient.
Real Live Preacher, RealLivePreacher.com Weblog, December 16, 2002

That is the problem, when it comes to matters of the heart one can either fuck it up or NOT fuck it up, occasioanally we get the middle ground where sometimes it just works. Patirence plays an important factor i think, or does it? I mean, one can pursue it quickly and make it work.... or u can either ruin it. the same thing when we wait, if we wait too long..sometimes it works.. sometimes that love just fades away....

I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.
Margaret Thatcher (1925 - ), in Observer April 4, 1989

But then how do we know when its the right time?

I guess we just do.....

"Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" loosely translated means "that feeling in the heart" and this pretty much explains the above question, i guess no matter what, if u think u have that feeling, we shouldnt dilly dally but just go for it, as they say "what is it do we have to lose?"

Absoultely Nothing.

Happy Valentines

Collatz

The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.
William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

someone once asked me or rather told me that he takes his hat off to me for being able to take or handle certain thoughts, words, or shall i say "insults" put forth in my direction. Now i am of the opinion that when someone insults you, or someone tries to show that he/she is smarter than you are, the bst thing you can do is just smile and let it pass. Why should u bring urself to their level by doing the exact same thing, there is no need to defend yourself or anything like that for it would be a total waste of effort and energy trying to do so. it wil be like water over a duck's feathers. it will reflect more on yourself rather than the other person if you were to say something back, by keeping silent you are in my opinion, showing a level of maturity or intelligence that should be applauded.

Now please dont think i am blowing my own horn here, i am just saying that, this is what i believe in and this is what i do, much to the difficulty of ignoring my inner voice that intends to break/smash/castrate/stab/ the people who often act like they are far more superior or far more inelligent when it an be clearly seen that they they dont know what they are talking about. well, we are only human, and i must admit even i sometimes fail to abide to the rules or principles that i stand for.... moments like those are when we realise that we r only human and are not perfect.

Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering you own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew.
Saint Francis de Sales

i am using the above quote as a conclusion to my first point and to begin my second point, or it an also be said to emphasise what i mentioned towards the end of my earlier point.

i once read somewhere, that someone shoud not be judged by their virtues but by their depravities because virtues can be faked and depraities are real. Hence, never be too quick in judgin someone because they seem nice or whatever... this is the lesson that we all will be constantly learning everyday for the rest of our lives. u see, its always easy to have principles and rules that govern our actions, but one thing we need to understand is that it is only through our imperfections or our mistakes is that when we can meassure ourselves as individuals, and by learning those mistakes and starting each day a fresh with the knowledge that past mistakes have given us that would make us better individuals.

this can be seen everywhere, through redemption in examinations, in friendship, with family... only through our imperfections should we be judged. so never be too quick in coming up with a perception of someone.

As for the Superbowl this Sunday... although i am a Giants fan, Go SEAHAWKS¬!!!!

2006

The real distinction is between those who adapt their purposes to reality and those who seek to mold reality in the light of their purposes.

Henry Kissinger (1923 - )

Hapy New Year and may you have a good 2006~

Well, for a so called new year's post i am a few days overdue, but hey, doesnt matter innit?

Every time it reaches that time of the year, resolutions are made, promises promised, secrets shared, laughter heard, celebration time. People make a big deal about new years, well maybe it is for some people and i dont have anything against that, it could have been a good year for you, you did well in your exams, finally found yourself a girlfriend, made that bonus or promotion, your baby was born, Great~!! celebrate....

but i personally find the idea of making up new year resolutions abit dumb, wait, dumb may be too harsh a word, let me try useless. yeah, better.

think about it, resolutions made are seldom met.

"i wanna be a better person.... wanna give more money to charity.... wanna find a girl... wanna get marrried.... wanna lose weight, etc etc" : on one level i admire and respect the idea of us giving oursleves goals to achieve like that, i think we all should have goals, but why make a big deal about something we say a night before the new year and forget when its already a week into the new year? pointless innit?

the reason why i put the quote up is because it made me think when i read it.

did it make u think as well?

we get so caught up in trying to make things around us change to meet our needs and demands. we hear people go, "why dont you do this to make the world a better place, why dont you do that so that he does better in school, why dont i dress like this to be cool, to be accepted, i must be this particular kind of person to get attention, etc etc" . it is in my very humble honest opinion that individuals like these are detached from reality, they try *as the quote suggests* mold reality to suit them, by molding it as in changing their very own "realness" by dressing up a certain way, by doing something for that supposed reality to suit themselves. However, it is the person who mold themselves to adapt and survive in the given reality that are people who are attached to it, who are real, who are connected to the essence of what being indivduals are, being REAL by being themselves.

do u get what i mean?

i hope you do...

think about it...

i mean, the greatest achievements of man have been in situations where we have to adapt to our reality, Thomas Edison and the lightbulb, Newton and his apple (gravity), Alex Bell and his telephone and many more. All these, adaptation to the reality that was faced by them. Thats what i am talking about.

it may seem that i m straying off topic...

i assure u i am not..

new year resolutions are pointless because we are creating instances in which we think we are molding ourselves to fit the reality we have seen *over the past year* , i mean, the reason why we come up with resolutions are to basically improve ourselves where we have fallen short. My point is, must we wait till the end of the year to come up with resolutions when the reality of it all is that everyday should be an adaptation to reality and not once a year? i mean, we can aim for something immediately after thinking about it without having to wait....

why wait?

u tell me...

If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves.

Maria Edgeworth, O Magazine, April 2004

This quote explains what i mean perfectly, we should take care of the moments, the moments in which we realise we need to adapt, to act, to make ourselves better, and only then will it be in the long run worth it. Eventually, we will meet our demands, at a reasonable and comfortable pace and level.

What were my new year resolutions?

*??????*

I will let you know when it comes

-n-

Finally....

Last week i had the strangest dream
Where everything was exactly how it seemed
Where theres never any mystery on who shot john f kennedy
It was just a man with something to prove
Slightly bored and severely confused
He steadied his rifle with his target in the center
And became famous on that day in november

Dont wake me i plan on sleeping in

And then last night i had that strange dream
Where everything was exactly how it seemed
Where concerns about the world getting warmer
The people thought they were just being rewarded
For treating others as they like to be treated
For obeying stop signs and curing diseases
For mailing letters with the address of the sender
Now we can swim any day in november

Dont wake me i plan on sleeping
(now we can swim any day in november)
Dont wake me i plan on sleeping in

-Postal Service "Sleeping In"-

well, here it is, i am not so sure why it took me so long for me to come up with this entry; but here goes....

if u were to read the lyrics that i posted above, you may have come to the conclusion that its ironic or rather interesting to note that the aouthor/lyricist/singer can only seem to be in an ideal world only when he sleeps; or at least thats the conclusion i came up with.

"sometimes" i always find myself sitting around and thinking about how i would like the world to be, or how i would like to see it or how i would like it to see me. As you may expect, i would come up with the most cliched idealic scenarios and hope that some day or maybe... even later in the day to be experiencing these so called ideals that i had imagined. but often i come up disappointed as expressed in this quote:

Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows.
David T. Wolf (1943 - )

People always expect or assume ideals, but what i realised is that what we should expect is that we can never truly experience ideal situations; "let there be no war, crime, poverty, discrimination etc etc etc.... (the list goes on as you can imagine)". I believe that an IDEAL is in fact a compromise between what we want and what we experience, a compromise between that idealic situation that we dream of and the actual situation we are faced with. For example, i often hear people tell me that it would be so nice for there not to be any poverty and that people should be more equal in economic status and social standings. My opinion is, and i have discussed this with several people who both disagree and agree me that even if this were to happen, what good would this truly bring? if there are no difference in social standings and financial status where would the spirit of competition, the willingness to improve and advance? Technology wouldnt have been at the level that it is at today, the ability for us to buy our favorite Ipods, Creatives or Playstation and Xbox 360s or our favorite shoes and clothes are things that we would not be able to enjoy to its full extent and potential. Hence, not achieving that ideal (as is the case with almost everything) is something that is a fact, something that is bound to happen. Another example would be wars, if there was no WW2 (which i agree, cost the lives of millions of people) the would not be as democratic as it is, instead it would have been a divided world that in essence would be filled with discirmination, crime, poverty and everything that we wouldnt have wanted to happen in the first place. So by accepting and compromising with the situation that was put upon before them, the soldiers of WW2 knew that what they were doing would lead to death and destruction but ultimately would lead to a better world, a world that would be a step or maybe even and inch closer to the ideals they were dreaming of in the first place. (As i always like to say, the compromising of ideals would often lead to a J Curve effect [thank you Econs, ;p] in a sense that things would always get worse before they get better.

What i am trying to say with the previous line is that things are always easier said than done and that its easy for me to go "oh, compromise... bla bla, etc etc" but as i have learnt over the past year or so, especially these last few months away on my own and facing situations that have shattered my idealistic thoughts and dreams, sometimes we just have to take it all in our stride and make the best out of everything we have and be thankful for it. However, if you see a chance or any opportunity whatsoever in making things better, take it.

Until then, dont wake me as i am planning on sleeping in....

P/S: I dont need to be thinking of ideals when i can just appreciate the simplest most beautiful thing GOD has bestowed upon me and my family... for now. Alhamdulillah (Thank GOD).

testing, testing